Book Review: Whole Lesbian Sex Book

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us by Felice Newman
Publisher: Cleis Press c2004 (2nd ed)
ISBN 978-1-57344-199-5
7 x 10, 400 pages

Synopsis: The Whole Lesbian Sex Book offers basic information techniques, advice, support, and playful discourse on the subject of lesbian sex, including: where to find partners, G-spot stimulation, oral sex, vaginal fisting, dildos for fun and fashion, dynamics of butch/femme sex, anal sex, the pleasures of lube and latex, where to cop the best cybersex, and leather, piercings, tattoos, high heels, and other fetishes.

This revised and expanded second edition also includes new information:

• How to keep your sex life hot—whether you have one partner or many, or are going solo.
• How to have all the orgasms you desire—expanded chapter on Tantra, G-spot orgasms, multiple orgasms, extended orgasms, and ejaculation.
• How to create lasting, intimate sexual relationships that deepen over time.
• The latest vibrators, dildos, and harnesses—and how to get the most out of your sex toys.
• Perimenopause, menopause, and herbal supplements to support libido.
• What to do about the sexual side effects of SSRIs.
• Completely updated resource guide with hundreds of videos and DVDs, books, magazines, websites, retail and mail order outlets, email lists, gender resources, and S/M organizations.

My personal take on the book?

Wow. This is not a book you can simply skin through. It’s chocked full of practical advice on not only how to know your lover better, but your own body as well. Whether you are lesbian, bisexual, queer, or simply curious, there will be much for you to explore in the pages of this book. A warning to the mildly curious, this could be just what you need to push you over the edge *wink*

This is much more than a sex guide on general female anatomy. There are whole sections of fetishes, orgasm, safety, masturbation, healthy boundaries, breast play, oral sex, bdsm, and much more. Even as a writer of erotica I learned a great many things about women loving women intimacy and sex that I never knew before.

This book hold nothing back, even down to code in hard core to mild bdsm culture. Everything talked about here will not fit all women’s tastes, but read with an open mind, new adventures are just waiting to begin. I highly recommend this book for any women who wants more from her own sex life, and a deeper connection with her sexual partners.

Women's Health Alert: IBC

These are videos on IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer), a largely unknown and deadly form of breast cancer. There will be not lumps to find during your monthly exam, nothing showing up on that yearly mammogram. The signs are subtle and many doctors don't even know what to look for.





Useful links on IBC

The IBC Research Foundation

Inflammatory Breast Cancer Association

IBC Support Group

Jackie You Naughty Thang!

A friend posted this on her blog and I couldn't resist. This is not safe for the kidlet awake hours or for most places of work. You have been warned. Now Enjoy!

Wax Play

For a story I recently finished for a upcoming erotica call I did some play with wax and learned some interesting things I thought I might share. Keep in mind my practical knowledge of wax for pleasure is limited, bit I did find some interesting places for information on wax play in case anyone else would like to give it a go.

Tip #1 Not all waxes are alike.

This is a very important fact to remember. Unless you are heavy into the pain over the pleasure aspect of this type of sexual play, do not, I repeat do not use pure beeswax. It heats at a very hot temperature and can cause serious burns, which I doubt you or your loving partner would appreciate. Soy is useable for safe wax play as is paraffin (non dyed) since both melt at low temperatures.

Tip #2 Prepare for a mess

Don’t do your wax play on your best silk sheets on your linen tablecloth. You want to be able to focus on your lover’s safety and pleasure, not what the wax might be ruining as it melts all over everything. Place something under your lover to catch the wax, but that is still comfortable to lay on. Also remember to have a stable surface for your candle or melting pot (fondue pots work great). If you don’t, you will have worse things than a mess to deal with.

Clean up is another concern. The best tip I’ve seen is the use of oil on your lover’s body (which can be fun on its own) so that the removal of the wax after it cools is easier. Now if your lover enjoys the sensation of the pulling on her skin and hair, then forget adding the step of the oil.

Tip #3 Safety

Even as you are focusing on you sexual play, you still must remain in control so you can keep your lover and yourself safe. Whether for heating the pot, or lighting a candle, you are still dealing with fire in some fashion. Keep a fire extinguisher and a burn oriented first aid kit close at hand. Feel free to let your lover fall into the bliss of the experience, but remember they are depending on you to keep them safe. You must never break that trust.

Even before you begin, always test the wax on yourself, preferably the soft part of your inner arm. It should be very warm but not too hot. If you are using a pot to heat the wax (likely a good idea your first time out) test the temp with a candy thermometer. Between 110 and 140 degrees is a good range. If you are using a candle use the pillar kind so the wax can pool on the top and cool a bit, or one of those super soft drippy candles (can be found online) like they used to use in the decorative wine bottles.

Tip #4 Application of the wax

It’s best to move the wax around as you drizzle it over your lover's body. If you leave it drip in one place you can desensitize that area which defeats the whole purpose. Don’t rush things. Explore and experiment, especially if this is your first time doing wax play. See what your lover likes most and develop you own personal style of working the wax.

Pour the wax from high to add to the cooling time before it touches the skin and move the ladle or candle around as you drizzle the wax on your lover’s body. If she wants it hotter, then move the wax closer before pouring. Learning what she likes is half the fun, isn’t it?

Have a good time and remember to be safe. If any of you have experience with wax play I’d be glad to hear about it. For fun, here’s a wax play picture and a video you all might enjoy.



MaxWax™ ~ Skin Preparation for Wax Play

The above video would be a very good investment if there’s a full version available (you may need to email mail her about that) and if you are seriously interested in getting into wax play for the first time, and even if you are experienced in it. I admit to being very impressed with this clip and of her.

A few of my favorite turn ons! #1

When I think of erotica in a general since I first think of sensuality. What tiny details about what a woman says or does could be seen as sexy by the main character on my story. Like most people I have little things that charge me up, draw in my attention. I thought it might be fun in this series of post to talk in detail about on of my turn ons. Think about yourself. What things get you hot?

Turn On #1 Body piercings.

I admit not all body jewelry does it for me. A few things like nipple rings and genital piercing give me a chase of the shivers. I’m not a big pain person. I know some folks can turn mild, even severe plain into pleasure, but I’m not quite there in my sexual journeying, thanks. Here’re some sexy piercings that are more to my tastes.



It’s not hard to see why a little bling on the tongue could be fun under the covers. The collar she’s wearing is not bad either, but that’s a topic for another time.



Maybe not as titillating as the tongue stud, but there’s something sweetly sexy about a neat clusters of earrings and a cartilage stud. I have two holes in each ear, but money permitting one day I will have more in my right ear at least.



Here’s another one on my personal wish list as well as my list of turn ons. With neatly arched brows and the right makeup, there are few looks as sexy. I’m an eye gal, I admit it. The right pair of eyes and I’m done for.



I dare anyone to look at this and not think sexy. Sure rough bed play could be tricky with the delicate chain, but we’re creative, we can manage.

Do you find piercings sexy? If so, which kinds and why?

Oh, Goddess

There is nothing more desirable than the images of goddesses long past that exists in the body of every woman. She moves in grace and serenity, responding as easily under the touch of a well placed kiss from the wind, as the caress of a tender lover. There is beauty in all her forms, from the curves of her breast and hips, to the soft folds hidden within her thighs. She is sacred. She is love.

It’s my belief that all women should have a full length mirror. The purpose of the mirror is for them to use it to find comfort with their own body. Such things are hard for us. We judge the image of our reflection as we have been taught to do all our lives. We’ve all seen those pictures in the magazines, images of society’s idea of obsolete perfection no real woman could reach. Not and remain healthy at any rate. Today, I ask the hardest thing of all, my sisters. Love your body.

The challenge begins with claiming the house to yourself. This is not the time to be mother, wife, or even lover. The one who needs love from you now is you. Put on quiet music, whatever type that moves you in some deep way. Toss aside the clothes that hide you from the world and stand before the mirror. What you see right now, that is the goddess.

Start with your face. Feel the contours, and angles, the “imperfections”. This is the face of the goddess. Worship her. Trail your fingers down your throat, slowly. You are your most attentive lover. Let your body move to the music, skin on skin as your hands explore your perfect breasts. They are not too large. They are not too small. Forget the scars from the mastectomy. Your breasts are perfect. Touch them. Only you know how you like it best.

Hips, thighs, such miraculous curves, they shame any made-made work of art. Love yourself, gently, with patience. Take your time. Lie back on the bed as long as you can still see your reflection. Look at that seed-shaped treasure wet and pulsing between your legs. Do not turn away. You power is there, your pleasure. Explore the depths. You love her. You need her. You want her. Look at yourself. Love yourself until the name you scream is your own.

Remember, once we can fully love ourselves, the possibilities are endless.

Let’s Get Started

One of the reasons I first considered starting this blog was because of an offer to review sex toys, videos, and the like for a online company. The more I thought about the idea of building a sex related blog, the more fun I knew I could have with it. Now I admit, there are far more sexually knowledgeable people than I am, but since I started the side work of writing lesbian erotica short stories and novellas (before that I was doing mainly lesbian paranormal romance), I’ve learned some fun stuff along the way.

I can’t say what you may find here in the future. Hell, I don’t even know what wickedness hides in this mind of mine from day to day. So sit back, enjoy the ride, and jump in with comments. Tell me what you like and don’t like (I’m an attentive lover, I will listen).